


Static Ringing

by nomsie500



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25120573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomsie500/pseuds/nomsie500
Summary: I'm not sure I want to explain this, so I'm not going to.TW: mentions of dysphoria, forced outing, implied suicide
Relationships: Sam Evans/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Static Ringing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I want to explain this, so I'm not going to.
> 
> TW: mentions of dysphoria, forced outing, implied suicide

Eliza lived her life in a constant state of static ringing. No matter what she did, her ears were ringing and static surrounded the edges of her vision. It never cleared, it never stopped. She wanted her skin to come off, she wanted her body to stop betraying her.

No one knew she felt so wrong. Most people saw her as the girliest girl in school. She loved singing and dancing and fashion and boys. Oh how she loved boys. 

Oh how she envied boys.

Eliza seemed to be repulsed by everything masculine, but really she was only turned off by the trivial things. Everything that mattered about being a man was something she craved, something she needed. She needed to be a man.

No one understood how badly she needed to be a boy, a guy, a man. She was stuck in this awful prison of a body, unable to be herself. In some ways, she was able to be herself more easily because no one questioned what she was interested in and why she was interested in it. In other ways, she was suffocating, and sometimes people noticed, but they never understood why she seemed to be drowning.

Eliza met Samara Evans their junior year. She was a transfer student who was originally from Tennessee. One thing that was immediately clear about Samara was she was really gay. Another thing that was immediately clear about Samara was she was suffocating too, and nobody understood why.

Eliza thought she knew. She didn’t tell Samara that she knew because she knew she’d react badly. Eliza knew this because she’d react terribly if Samara said the same thing to her.

Eliza was paired with Samara for a history project. Eliza invited Samara over to work on it. Instead of working on their history project, they kissed.

When they pulled back, Samara couldn’t help but gap at Eliza. She’d kissed other girls before, but it wasn’t anything like kissing Eliza. Eliza didn’t kiss like a girl.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything.

“I’m a boy.”

“Me too.”

They kissed again.

“Is that why you—”

“Yes. I couldn’t think of another way to tell you.”

“I understand.”

They kissed again. Things escalated. Then they cried. It was wonderful, but the disgust was still there. It increased when they felt it from each other.

They kissed again. Things escalated. Then they cried. They pushed through it anyway. They hated themselves and each other.

They kissed again.

They were girlfriends. But they weren’t girlfriends. They were boyfriends that looked like girlfriends. They hated everything and everyone, but they loved each other more.

Finn found out. He found out they were boyfriends who looked like girlfriends. He found out they called each other Kurt and Sam instead of Eliza and Samara. He got mad and told everyone about them and who they were.

They ran. It didn’t matter where they went, all that mattered was that they ran. No one could find them, no one could tell them they were wrong. 

They ended up at the bridge three miles away from the school. It wasn’t a tall bridge, but the rocks were sharp and the water was fast. It would be painful, but everything would be gone. Maybe they would go to heaven and be the boys they were always meant to be. Maybe they would be reborn as the boys they were meant to be and get to live life they way they were supposed to. 

No one wanted them to make that decision. But they were desperate and sad and lonely. They had each other and normally that would be enough for someone in their shoes, but it was hard to have hope when your partner was as hopeless as you were. 

They kissed. Then things escalated. Then everything was gone.


End file.
